With a Name Like Botox… April 4, 2008

It’s got to be, oh I don’t know, TOXIC?!

Botulinum Toxin. You’re injecting botulism into your face. If you don’t want it in your canned vegetable, do you really want it in your forehead?

I just saw an ad for Botox. Their tagline is “freedom of expression.”

Totally reasonable. This is what the founding fathers intended. Free press, free speech, organized militia, and–injecting a deadly bacteria into your face in the relentless pursuit of an unachievable goal.

Awesome.

And I’ll leave you with this: the Botox website’s (ok, fine, here’s the link) first clickable link is the question, “Will I be able to make facial expressions?”

You know, I might be going out on a limb here, but if you have to ask….

Is it REALLY that hard not to be an asshole? April 2, 2008

I mean, come on.

What does it take?

A little self-awareness, a little sense that you’re not the hottest shit being plated up at the restaurant of life?

Maybe the ability to turn your own self-image issues into something besides complete derailing of the train to productivetown?

I really hate Wednesdays. It’s like the circus of asshats around here, only none of them do cool tricks and there’s no cotton candy.